constructionNobody can procrastinate forever, we’re only human (Except Procrastina-tron. He’s awesome). The idea is to waste-time as often as you can for as long as you can, but at some point your instincts will get the better of you, and unfortunately, you’ll just have to do something.

In those times, it’s important to choose the right path.

One strategy is to pick projects that are difficult and stressful, but practically useless. Designing your own wildly elaborate Halloween costume, for instance, is a time-intensive, labor-intensive process that has no real benefit. After all your work, all you have to show is stupid rendition of a visual joke you thought of when you were most likely drunk. You’ll be lucky to get a “Ha” for your efforts.

But the real pay-off has yet to come. Although you haven’t done anything of consequence, you’ll still feel like you accomplished something. With a pinch of delusion, it should be pretty easy to inflate your sense of mild accomplishment into a full-blown achievement. Then, you’ll either feel like you need a break or a reward, and both can be satisfied by a healthy dose of do-nothingness.  Pretty neat, huh?

There is another technique, as well. One that doesn’t involve carefully selecting your projects and screening for difficulty and productivity. One that is arguably easier and more natural. And it’s my favorite way to undertake any endeavor. Just never finish anything. You can start a thousand things in a row–all kinds of important stuff–but it’s the follow-through that counts, so long as you don’t finish a single one, you’ll still be wasting time. And it’s so easy!

Look around the house, locate something that needs to be fixed, or cleaned, or fed, and get started… but then get distracted, or realize you don’t have the supplies, and take a little break. If you start multiple things at once, you can pretty much guarantee that you won’t finish by bouncing back and forth between them as the mood suits you. Pretty soon your house will be littered with projects in various states of completion, taking up table space and ensuring that the next task you take on will be doomed from the start. Then you can give up and concentrate on reorganizing, or not.

It may be best for you to mix these techniques, as a kind of double insurance. Never finish anything, but when you can, make sure the project doesn’t matter anyway, just in case it accidentally gets done.

Post done. Now to take a break and reward myself with some serious hammocking. See you next week.

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