Take the bus.

busThe bus is sooooo awesome!

It’s amazing how it always runs late if you’re early, and always arrives right on time if you’re late.

Then there’s the fact that it stops every 2 blocks, so it seems like you’re moving slightly faster than walking. Even the quickest trip is over a half hour. Of course, this too is reversed if you’re running after the bus. No, then it speeds merrily down the road, disappearing over the horizon and leaving you sweaty, panting, and dejected.

But does it end there? Absolutely not. The bus is positively devious. It has a magnificent ability to make you run just long enough so that when you walk back to the stop, you can see your next bus pulling away. “Well,” you think, “at least they’re running pretty frequently.” Wrong! They were running frequently. The next bus is scheduled to arrive in an hour (and you’re ready to go, so you can assume it will be late).

So, maybe you should try your hand on one of the other lines. Seems like the #14 goes pretty close to your destination–well, at least kind of close–according to the bus stop map, you think. Now, you know quite well how this will end, but you hold on to hope. After a little while of  riding in the right direction, the hope grows. Maybe it won’t happen; you’re almost there. Maybe you’ll just get off at the next stop and be where you wanted to be.

Nope. That was the last stop on this street, and as you make a left turn and speed up, it becomes apparent that it was the last stop for a very long time. Go ahead and pull that stop cord. Pull it as hard as you like. Nothing is more futile.

Oh, you’ll waste time… whether you want to or not.

The bus is awesome.

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