Sign up for call lists

Political action groups are always asking for your help and phone number. Not many people realize how valuable these services can be. I don’t mean their organizations, I mean the actual call lists. You should sign up for as many as you can. It’s free and it’ll totally distract you from doing stuff.

You’re basically signing up for someone to call you every so often to interrupt what your doing and harass you for money. Working? Not anymore! Now you’re telling Mamnestee International why you can’t afford to spend 18 dollars a month towards manatee rescue.

If you have a conscience, you’ll have to sit through the whole pitch, which is about 3-6 hours long. Sounds great, huh? But it’s not over yet. Next comes the part when they ask you for money, and you have to make up a feasible excuse. I like the ones that put me out this round, but encourage them to call back soon. Something like “I’d love to, but I was recently robbed at knife-point” usually works pretty well. It lets them know you’re interested in helping, and they’ll redouble their efforts. No sense in wasting a good opportunity.

I’ve also found that they give up after quite a while of getting nowhere, so once or twice I pledge a couple dollars. But I make sure to give equally to competing charities to offset any accidental difference I might make. Give a buck and a half to both Save the Forests and Feed the Beavers for example.

So next time you see a guy in a bright jacket with a clipboard, don’t divert your eyes, don’t turn up your headphones. No, go talk to him and tell him you’re interested in getting to know more about the organization–very interested. It may be the best investment you ever make. Now if you’ll excuse me, my phone is ringing.

afford to spend 18 dollars a month towards manatee
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