Get a song stuck in your head.

Everyone is familiar with the small hell that is having a song repeating in your brain all day. But have you ever noticed how little you can get done with that happening? I say it’s a small price to pay for another glorious day of inactivity.

“Well,” you say, “It happens all the time, but is there a method I can use to ensure I’ll get a song stuck in my head?” That’s where these tips come in.

Any song that just fades out is good, because there’s no actual ending. Your brain doesn’t know how to do the fade out. It tries to get quieter, but you can still hear it, and it’ll come right back.

Video game songs are practically made for this. When the song ends, they just start back over again! Once it’s in your head, it’s also a day-long advertisement to play the game. You should just go and play it. You know you want to.

If you’re in a bind, the easiest way to lock in a tune is to turn the radio off right in the middle of a repetitive song. It will repeat in your brain forever. Practice with Axel F from Beverly Hills Cop. Just close the window somewhere in the middle of the song, and you’ll see what I mean.

This tip requires some prep-work, but what do you have going on? Become familiar with a lot of similar songs, but not familiar enough to know them perfectly. One riff will remind you of another, and you may score the magical “two-fer” in which the first song accidentally morphs into the next one mid-riff. Then you can spend some time trying to remember how the first one sounds. I defy you to listen to the themes songs for Full House and Family Matters, and then recall either one in its entirety without switching between them. It’s impossible.

Memorize common phrases from songs so that, when you hear them in day-to-day conversation, it triggers the song in your head. This one is harder to prepare for, so my advice here is just don’t fight it. For instance, I’ve had “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” on loop in my mind, ever since I typed the seemingly harmless phrase “in a bind” earlier in the post.

Be wary of the iPod. It’s really easy to cure the interminable torture by playing something to drown it out, but is it worth it? Think of all the stuff you should be doing today. Wouldn’t you rather be shrieking in terror, and clawing your ears off, trying to get to your brain? I would.

Oh and speaking of that… In honor of the season, I hope you’re “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time.

You’re welcome.

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One Response to “Get a song stuck in your head.”

  1. The one that sticks in my brain is the horrible theme song from the X-Men cartoon. Reading your blog made me think of it… Thanks.

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