Talk to the TV.

Don’t like watching commercials? Argue with the TV. It can turn any infomercial into an hour of entertainment. Here’s a walk-through to get you pointed in the right direction:

Commercial: Don’t you just hate ironing your pillowcases?
You: NO! That’s not a problem! You just made it up!
Commercial: All that straining and struggling when guests come over…
You: What?! Who does that? This makes no sense!
Commercial: Well, now there’s a better solution
You: Stop ironing your pillowcases?
Commercial: …the SpaceCase® Pillowcase Flattener!
You: I hate you, TV.

See how fun that made the whole experience? It’s interactive! There’s no need to mute the TV; no need to go do something else for a few minutes. You can just have a chat with the television and not leave the couch. You’re too busy yelling, “Why are you cheering about sweaters?!” and, “Do women really get together to talk about the side effects of birth control?” to notice that you’re watching a commercial. And the best part is the commercial doesn’t learn. It will continuously make the same arguments time and time again, allowing you to refine your hilarious commentary and try out new jokes next time around. If only you had friends to witness your cleverness.

This technique doesn’t only apply to commercials. You can talk directly to TV programs as well to make them more interesting, if nothing is on.

Look for programs in which people state opinions in a matter-of-fact fashion. If you need a hand getting started, I suggest arguing against any ruling on Judge Judy, or Judge Joe Brown, or Judge Christina, or Texas Justice with Judge Larry Joe, or Judge Alex, or People’s Court with Judge Marilyn Milian, or reruns of People’s Court with Judge Wapner, or Judge Hatchett, or Judge Mills Lane, or Mock Trial with J. Reinhold, or Judge Maria Lopez, or Divorce Court with Judge Lynn Toler, or Judge Mathis, or Judge David Young, or Judge Karen, or Family Court With Judge Penny, or Street Court with Judge Mazz, or Judge Jeanine Pirro.

Alright, I’ve gotta run. I have company coming over, so I need to iron the pillowcases. If only there was an easier way!


One Response to “Talk to the TV.”

  1. Wow. That’s a lot of judge shows. I’m afraid you may have put forth too much effort in accumulating that list.

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