Develop computer problems.

We all know how important the computer is to the art of wasting time, but sometimes we need to make sacrifices for the greater good. Imagine how frustrated you’ll become when your ol’ pal stops working, and how much you’ll need to focus your resources on getting things back to normal. It’s bound to happen eventually, but why wait?

I’d recommend enabling auto-update features as a start. There’s nothing quite as awesome as waking up to find that your computer has been reconfigured and no longer recognizes your keyboard. Also, it’s pretty sweet to constantly get interrupted to “restart your computer” to activate the new updates. If you turn on the auto-update feature on enough software, you should get this message about once every 3 minutes.

Disable that virus software. Surf a bunch of really sketchy sites without protection. Click on any and all pop-up ads you see, and install anything they offer. Remember, the first person to download the entire internet, wins! Don’t worry it’s safe. Some sites may even tell you via pop-up that you may have a virus and helpfully offer a free virus scan. Free? Sounds good to me!

Get some new hardware or huge software. Normally the more invasive the installation, the better. You should try to ignore the compatibility requirements and instructions, and just mess around with it until you can get it running.

Every once in a while, unplug everything, then plug it in again, in a slightly different configuration. I like to plug my portable devices into the back of the computer and try weave the cords through the tangled nest of wires back there. Then, when I need to move something, I need a map and a loom to get to it, usually knocking a few things loose along the way.

Drink around your computer. Spilling liquids is a great path to catastrophic computer failure. Of course depending on what you choose to drink, you may be inclined to send some interesting emails to people you know, and developing relationship problems is another chapter altogether.

So follow this guide and you’ll be r2#49@#«ڣç <Error 507> <input sum= 32> // <post_ending.htm not found>
<free_virus_scan.exe has reformatted C:\>

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