Never do dishes or laundry until the last minute.

This tip is right out of the old school procrastinators’ handbook, but it holds up.

The best part about not doing laundry or cleaning dishes is just how easy it is. Chances are, you’re not doing laundry right now (if you are, I’m seriously questioning your commitment to time-wasting). So to pull this off, you don’t need to change a thing.

OK, it’s easy, but how will it help you in the long run? I’m glad you asked. First, comes the clutter. With all these piles of clothes and dishes lying around (bonus points if you mix them together), you’re not going to be able to find anything, ever. As we know, disorganization is a PROcrastinator’s best friend.

The next immediate benefit comes in the form of slowing down related activities such as getting dressed and eating. Towards the end of your cycle, you’ll be spending a lot of time in your closet, trying on terrible outfits, in hopes of finding some combination of still-clean clothes that won’t make you look colorblind or homeless. And every time you try to make a meal, you’ll be stuck rearranging precarious stacks of filthy dishes to get to the one you need.

And then comes the breaking point. The point that comes just after you’ve gone through the hamper twice and reused all the kind-of-dirty clothes, after you’ve switched to wearing sandals in the snow because you ran out of socks weeks ago, and after you’ve taken to eating all your meals either over the bathroom sink or on top of inverted pot lids. It’s the moment you’ve long dreaded — the day you absolutely have to clean up.

But there’s good news. Because you followed my advice and put it all off until the last minute, cleaning up is going to be at least an all-day ordeal. A whole day wasted! Now, wasn’t that worth it all?

Well, I’ve got to go change. I just dropped my helmet I’m using as a cereal bowl, and milk got all over my shirt I’m wearing as pants.

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2 Responses to “Never do dishes or laundry until the last minute.”

  1. Did my husband co-author this post, because he does all of those things. I don’t think he has eaten out of a helmet before, but that just might be because he doesn’t own one.

  2. It always helps to have a helmet when your dismantling a dish tower several feet taller than yourself.

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