Sleep Modifications: part 2

I’ve received a lot of feedback (OK, none actually) about the first list of sleeping tips, and the consensus seemed to be that we need some more. This week, we’ll look at some more easy tips to help get your sleeping habits in the way of your daily life. Specifically, we’ll examine ways to induce spontaneous, unplanned naps that suck away the hours like a productivity black hole.

Speaking of darkness, let’s move into the first tip: Leave the lights out in your house. Just kind of fumble around in the dark. The idea behind this tactic is to create an environment where it’s hard to tell the difference between having your eyes closed and having your eyes open. Then you can more freely switch between the two.

Change clothes. Look at what you’re wearing right now. Take everything out of your pockets. Strip down to the bare essentials of clothing. Are you wearing shoes? Take them off. Jeans? Unbutton them, or better yet, change into pajamas. You’re looking for any outfit that doesn’t hinder your ability to accidentally make the transition from lounging to dozing. (Of course the previous advice still holds fast about sleeping in your clothes, when you can. Try to strike a happy medium of sleeping often, but poorly, so you never feel very good the next morning.)

What kind of couch are sitting on? (If you’re not sitting on a couch, you’re doing it wrong.) And how are you sitting? Get really comfortable furniture. Trade up your IKEA Minimäl for a big, poofy Reclino-Luxe couch. Actually have you considered a daybed? I hear they’re making a comeback. You know that voice in your head that says, “You can be just as productive laying down”? Listen to it. It’s probably right.

So you’ve tried it all, but it’s still not working? Here’s my secret recipe for accidentally falling asleep: Rent slow-moving, David-Lynch-style films. As you recline in your pajamas with the lights out, you’ll be in Slumberland in no time. Sure, every once in a while, the soundtrack will startle you awake, but by then you’ll have been out for so long, you’ll probably just wake up, hit “mute”, and pass out again.

So enjoy your artificial narcolepsy. After all, why go through the trouble of saying, “I’ll do it tomorrow,” when you can just drift off and have no choice in the matter.

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2 Responses to “Sleep Modifications: part 2”

  1. I think I need to go back to bed…

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