Just break down and do something.

Oh no. It happened. I couldn’t stop it.
I did something.

And what’s worse — I’ve decided to continue doing something once every week. It will still be trivial, no doubt, but it will be something nonetheless, and for that I apologize. I’ve been putting this announcement off for too long, because… well, I like putting things off.

I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused my friends, family, and supporters. I can only hope that you will, in time, come to understand my decision. I feel as though, by venting all my unhealthy urges toward intellectual mobility once a week, I might be able to better concentrate on my inactivity in the remaining time each week. I understand that I am somewhat of a role model to fat little lazy kids everywhere, and I want to stress that this slightly productive path is not the route for everyone. To the children I say, “Don’t give into temptation. Stay strong, stay true, and follow your dreams by sleeping in.”

There are those who will see this stumble as an opportunity to impugn the entire sloth movement (or anti-movement, as it were). They will point their fingers at my example and claim that the sedentary lifestyle cannot work. They will laugh their smug, ambitious laugh and go back to running their corporations and snowboarding and whatnot. I remind them that I am only one man, and while I may have fallen, the weekwasters of the world are numerous.

In the meantime, check out Something a week. If nothing else, it’s another blog to add to your collection, and it can help push back that looming deadline by a few seconds.

I plan to continue this blog, but I need your help. I’ve clearly begun to run low on time-wasting tips, as evidenced by my fall from grace, and I don’t want the same to happen to the scores of people who depend on this blog for procrastination tips. So, send in your weekwasting techniques. I don’t care how trivial they are. What do you do, when you’re not doing anything?